we'll call that a hug

I have been very lax about posting lately.  Yes, you could put it down to being busy with the impending move...but the reality is that it felt as though every post would be "Our last..." and I just could not bring myself to think about that.

Above is one of my favourite photos of Ro and my second son, Cass.  Sure, some would shake their heads in horror that instead of helping Ro get out from underneath Cass I laughed and made sure that I got a good photo.  Others who know me (and the boys) would laugh right along with me.

On Friday afternoon, Ro and I had friends over and as usual the whole time was filled with laughter.  Ronan and I got the big banner (photo to come) that everyone had made for my surprise going away tea party last week (still need to post photos from that lovely afternoon as well!) and I had to hold back the tears.  Ronan let a few loose at the end of the day but I promised him that we would be back and that his friends would also come visit us in Chicago.

and then there were seven

Yep, I did it again.  Did not notice another tooth had just broken through.  Thank goodness for Lottie pointing out Ro's new tooth!

You can't see his new tooth in this photo but it is a fine example of him movin' and shakin' all over these days.  Still working on his army crawling technique it seems to be a matter of a few more minutes until he is properly crawling.

Lists

Those who know me know that I love making lists.  Paper lists.  There is something so very satisfying about physically crossing items off and visually seeing the number of To Do's dwindle.  Redbook magazine has a great list called "The 30 Best Things That You Can Do For Your Kids" with so many wonderful items.

1. Do not be a couch potato.
2. Be accepting of everyone.
3. Get everyone together for dinner.
4. Skip makeup sometimes.
5. Take them to work.
6. Be their watchdog.
7. Have great manners.
8. Give life a soundtrack.
9. Say no.
10. Be consistent.
11. Take great care of yourself, so your kids don’t have to.
12. Give them the money job in the kitchen. (i.e. not just peeling potatoes)
13. Teach through storytelling.
14. Don’t judge them.
15. Get them involved in community service.
16. Watch with them (referring to TV, etc).
17. Introduce them to the world of money.
18. Let them lose.
19. Make them laugh.
20. Break the dress code.
21. Tell them about the first time you got your heart broken.
22. When you’re home, unplug.
23. Learn from them.
24. Be modest.
25. Please, don’t smoke. And if it’s too late for that, quit.
26. Talk to them about sex.
27. Read together so they will learn to love books.
28. Have some faith.
29. Celebrate their inner beauty.
30. Encourage them to take risks.

Reading through the list, is it bad that I am a bit daunted?  I'm already wondering if the time we spend together rolling around on the floor at home right now is stimulating enough, am I correctly laying the foundation for the amazing person that I am sure Ronan is going to be...that list of questions goes on for a while. 

Now, the kid is only 8 months old so thankfully no sex talk yet and we are doing some of the items on the list already (money job in the kitchen sorted, who else de-bones the chicken?!).  I suppose that I was just under-prepared for how much responsibility I would feel, always, for every aspect of this little man's life.  The desire to want him to grow up happy, content and a productive member of society is constant for me and at times, overwhleming. 

So, perhaps I print out the list and place it where we can read it every day to ensure that we are doing all we can.  And perhaps in the process I too will gain more confidence and let go of some of the guilt (that's a whole other list).

photo slideshow

Eighth Monthday!

pros and cons

There really is no "perfect" place.  I keep being asked if I am looking forward to moving back to Chicago and the answer is...yes and no.  There are so many people and things that I will miss about living here in London.  There are equally people and things that I have missed about the States.

Here is a short list of who/what I have missed from home:

1) family & friends
2) proper washing machine & dryer (that don't take 4 hours to do a small load, which still comes out damp!)
3) our couch (where you can actually lay down and take a snooze)
4) our bed
5) shopping: being easier to do with a buggy and not to mention usually always less expensive
6) proper insulation in houses
7) real summers
8) customer service

However, as I said nowhere is perfect and I will  miss loads from London:

1) friends (many of whom have turned into family)
2) black taxis (so buggy friendly, why oh why aren't they in the States?!)
3) our neighborhood (love it!)
4) Borough Market (our weekend haunt)
5) all the parks
6) the Crown (our local pub where the food is surpassed by the lovely staff who are huge fans of Ronan)

Short lists for both - trying to concentrate on the positive and as one of my girlfriends said, the fact that we are leaving with the best souvenir ever of our time here.  Much easier for me to generally focus on the half-full glass so trying not to go south and instead think of what's next in this great adventure (instead of the fact that I won't be able to see Lottie or Liz or others whenever I want!  See I told you I am Glass-Half-Full Girl!).

tub time

crafternoon IV

Crafternoon IV (last week) was hosted by Michaela & Thomas and eggs & bunnies were on the menu.  As usual, we all had a great time and loved Thomas's toys!

Happy Easter

I've always been somewhat of a homebody.  Preferring to be home in comfy mismatched pyjamas, watching a movie and relaxing than out wearing some uncomfortable outfit with hurting feet and most likely being cold.  While pregnant, I would daydream about cozy afternoons and evenings where the three of us would spend time playing and laughing together at home.  This afternoon has squeezed my heart with us rolling around, chuckling and watching rugby:

 

Cocktails & Calpol

Serendipity.  Have been feeling a bit south of neutral lately and could not figure out what the issue was.  I truly feel lucky and know that I have everything that I wanted, which is why I could not figure out why I felt like I have been backsliding down into The Pit.  Catching up on reading some of the blogs I love, I found some articles & posts on depression and weaning.  BINGO.

Feeling a bit like a dirty hippie and bigger still the fact that Ro has TWO bottom teeth and FOUR top teeth, I have been weaning him off breastfeeding.  I thought given all the difficulty and stress that breastfeeding caused, I would be ecstatic to be done.  I mean, I was the one who in the very beginning was making deals with myself trying to get to 12 weeks and not sure that I would even be able to get to that point.  

Breastfeeding was so very important for me to do.  It was such a huge part of the experience that I wanted to have.  So much so that I put up with the bloody & traumatized nipples (sorry, sharing too much?) and the incessant, never-ending, fight-inducing questioning of whether I was providing enough milk for Ronan.  Every cry, every short nap instead of sleeping for a longer stretch of time was a sign to me that I was not able to produce enough milk for him.  But I kept at it.  Every week, I was at Baby Clinic to weigh Ro and see where he plotted on the percentile.  Each time, I had a bottle of formula ready to give should his weight not be going up.  Despite him gaining above average weight each week, I still could not truly believe. 

However, with amazing support from the White Underbelly & Lottie, I slowly began the believe and ultimately enjoy breastfeeding.  I started weaning Ro off the boobs at 7 months and initially thought that I would just be done within a week.  Pumping soon became a way for me to clearly see how much volume there was and a way to continue Ro getting some antibodies & other nutrients that I feel are still valuable.  I'm now at a point where I have to give up the last on-the-boob session and I have had mixed emotions.  There is a part of me that is happy to be able to wear non-nursing tops again (even if they are still a bit snug!) and there is another part of me that is not looking forward to all the bottles and work associated with that (I can be inherently lazy and it is just so much easier to be the food instead of having to organize & carry it all).

Turns out it's not just me wanting to be lazy but there is a drop in hormones being produced, specifically oxytocin and prolactin, which are referred to the "feel good" hormones and have the same effect as ecstasy and cocaine.  So basically, I am having a hormonal crash.  While there is nothing that I can do about it, it's nice to know what is behind the low feelings.  I appreciate the other women talking about it and the research being carried out.  I am so happy that I started to catch up on reading these blogs and finding those posts.